This post is so great.
yeah, i’ll throw in a Grace Kelly looking all badass by the pool. you’ve gotta be cultured. can’t just have the tacos your whole life, you know? sometimes you’ve gotta save up for the filet mignon and a bottle of wine.
that’s the best part about fancy girls, they’re so bored by the hundreds of dudes that want to buy them rings and necklaces and shit that when you roll up in your Honda and take her to a kinda fancy dinner place BECAUSE YOU SAVED UP FOR IT its a big fucking refreshment.
honestly, and now i’m just giving you advice, take them out for picnics. girls fucking love picnics. when she sees that basket and you laying down the checkered sheet her panties will be getting more in a twist than a dyslexic eating alphabet soup. make a fucking effort and don’t just get a couple of Lunchables. do you know easy it is to roast a fucking chicken? stuff half an orange up its ass and rub butter all over it then put it in the oven for like 45 minutes. fucking easy. and she’ll think you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow BECAUSE YOU MADE A FUCKING EFFORT. put as much effort into taking your girl out as you do into your fucking bike. i mean, dude, do you want “the coolest bike on the block” or Grace Kelly Who Drinks Beer And Is Really Into The Descendents? i think the latter. so make an effort.
oh. and remember the picnic thing.
